With all this talk around the interweb of fear of war, fear of politicians and fear of being blasted into oblivion by nukes, it’s not surprising that NZ post-apocalyptic writers like myself are bubbling to the surface, dabbling about survival.
Now, as a survival expert of over a decade*, I am more than qualified to be looking online at what other people think is a good idea and then republishing it here to let you know, too. So I did just that. These are some gadgets I think we should all want if the end times come sooner than expected (although, these would be epic at any stage of existence, to be fair).
LifeStraw
On a trip to shoot and stopped for a drink using my @lifestraw @REICincinnati @RRTrails @t_jh2009 @Todd_the_Hiker pic.twitter.com/L7zLH4wGRG
— MDHerald (@MDHerald) April 24, 2016
Imagine walking along a lengthy, dishevelled road. Counting on your remaining fingers, you know it’s been at least a day since you last found a clean drinking source. Finally, you come across a small stream, but you can see that its colour is suspiciously brown (perhaps tinged with green). What do you do?
Well, you whip out your LifeStraw and suck on that stream till you need to piss yourself.
LifeStraw has actually been around since 2005 (though its parent technology was developed in the 1990s), but the company behind it (Vestergaard) has been working hard even recently to bring its potentially life-saving product to more than 64 different nations in need, according to its website.
It works by sucking in water at one end of a narrow tube, then passing it through hollow fibers that trap pathogens, resulting in clean water coming out the other end. It won’t save you from radiation, but it’ll stop some horrible mutated super bacteria from eating your insides.
Solar backpacks
You know the world is truly over when there’s no more electricity and the internet is gone (that alone is worth a horror movie). But now is actually one of the best times for the world to end in terms of modern technology, though I’m sure 10-20 years from now will be even better.
Solar backpacks are becoming increasingly common for hikers and other lovers of the outdoors. Companies like BirkSun, Voltaic Systems and Eclipse are producing numerous types of backpacks with solar panels built in, so you can charge your various gadgets while on the move.
In the world of Crumble and the upcoming book “Smack-dab, in the Middle of Nowhere”, there is a permanent cloud cover. Solar tech would work just as well in this world as a sunny one, and indeed, Pure Energies states that solar panels actually work better in cooler temperatures than super hot ones.
So don’t feel that you will have to abandon your iPod or be unable to charge your camping light – with the right equipment, you’re totally fine. Well, you’re still trying to survive a horrible post-apocalyptic Wasteland, but you’ll have sick tunes.
Outdry Extreme (rain jacket)
Columbia OutDry Extreme Diamond Shell https://t.co/RSFagJ17gJ via @outsidemagazine “the most breathable rain jacket we’ve tested”
— Scott Trepanier (@ScottTrepanier) July 1, 2015
Though not commonly mentioned in the Crumble Bulletin, the Waste can be a rainy place. Getting stuck tramping outdoors in the rain is awful at the best of times, but add that to a lack of electricity, no clean place to sleep, and possibly angry mutants running around chasing you so you can’t stop for long, and you’ve got a recipe for body fungus.
With a proper rain jacket, this will be a little easier. Columbia Sportswear has produced a new version of the trusty rain jacket, too, which is far more breathable than its prior counterparts. This is because it uses a different membrane material to stop water penetration. Normal jackets typically have a layer of Gore-Tex between fabric (it stops rain, but isn’t very pleasant to wear), but the Outdry Extreme jacket has its waterproof membrane on the outside, with a wicking fabric on the inside. This draws moisture away from the body as well as blocks it from getting in.
Magazine Gear Junkie gave it a whirl in a damp Columbia park during a storm, and despite romping around for hours, the writer was still dry. So as you see, with a good jacket you’re only problem will be escaping the hungry mutants, not being dry whilst doing so!
Good luck out there, folks. I hope I see you all on the other side (but I’ll probably not trust you, and maybe rob you).
* This is a hilarious joke. I would die instantly.